When it comes to adult hookup sites, we often sell ourselves on the idea of meeting and fucking on night one. And hey, a lot of that has to do with the adult dating site’s marketing.
But real life doesn’t always imitate ad copy. And that’s OK, on both sides (consumer and adult hookup site).
There is always a realistic possibility that you get laid during your first encounter. But there is equally a chance you fail to get laid on your first encounter with someone.
So what gives?
First and foremost, you’ve probably read ad nauseam our adult hookup dating tips. This article doesn’t so much focus on “what not to do,” but more on why first-night hookups sometimes fail regardless.
This is important stuff because a failed first-night hookup can at times make a man feel worthless. And then he becomes bitter and less prone to trust the system.
The main reason first-night hookup ambitions fail is that men tend to forget all decorum. Because they discovered a girl on a hookup site, they feel little need to “seduce” or “attract.” Once the girl says yes to meeting, they feel it’s all set in stone.
But when they meet in person, they quickly and sadly discover that the girl just isn’t that into them.
There are a few reasons for this. One is poor communication. Women like communication whether they are in for a long relationship or just want to fuck your brains out that night. Communication can be insightful, erotic, and seductive.
When you and the girl talk, you establish your first lines of attraction with her. If the lines fail to connect, well, you’re out of luck for hot sex. Because she’s going to find a guy that’s also attractive when he speaks.
Girls desire communication, whether erotic or otherwise, because they need a guy’s mind as well. They don’t just want abs and some assumption you both want to bang.
Men don’t require a lot of communication to bang which leads them to forget it as a necessary component to women. Mutual awareness here matters a whole lot.
Another major player in failed first-night hookups is a sudden unsafe feeling. The girl maybe was out with you only to scout you and make sure she feels safe with you. Or, she was planning to hookup, but something triggered her intuition to bail (at least for this time).
If you’re too aggressive in trying to isolate her immediately, this could pose a red flag for her. In other words, if you keep wanting to leave the restaurant for your house, or a hotel, she might feel rushed and unsafe with you.
If you are trying to get her hammered with booze, she might become leary of your motives.
And finally, if you seem to care little about safety for yourself, she might get a bad feeling about you.
Make sure you read the room: She wants to feel safe. Make sure you are empathetic to this. And in reality, in adult dating or any dating, people need to prioritize their safety at the highest levels.
Try to communicate with her just as you would any date. Make sure you prioritize her and your safety throughout the night. But most of all, be patient. Just because Fuckbook is an adult hookup site doesn’t mean every connection you make has to lead to immediate sex. It’s OK if things take a few meetups.