Its your first meet up.
Things need to go well.
Sure, Fuckbook is an adult dating website, but most members still need at least a semblance of social connection before getting busy. One of the worst things that can happen during a first meet up is for the conversation to fall flat.
People with chemistry often experience silence with grace. But a first meet up needs to yield a more lively conversation. This establishes energy and sexual connection.
So how do we avoid allowing the conversation to fall flat?
While you don’t want to sound as if you are interviewing her, remember, asking questions stimulates her to talk about her. When people are asked about themselves, it makes them feel good. They enjoy feeling important and appreciated.
Ask complex questions like “was accounting your first choice at a profession?” Such a question will garner a more thoughtful response over “do you like accounting?”
You want to ask questions that stimulate her mind. If you ask a question and she takes a pause before answering, you probably did well.
By getting her to talk, the conversation can flow. This removes the potential for awkward downtime.
Also, your curiosity in her will come off as sexy. And that’s clearly what you are going for.
Avoid Polarizing Topics
Everyone is exausted from political ramblings. No matter what your politics are, she’s probably not interested in the subject. She’s trying to figure out if you’d make a good sex partner, not if you will vote for the Senator she supports.
Political or other personal topics (think – to go vegan or not) often cause conversation lulls and stalls. People get emotional, even heated. The focus is removed from the flirtation.
And if anger and angst set in, the entire situation is doomed. While you don’t want to act robotic and shallow, you certainly don’t want to bring heat to the conversation.
Listen. And Then Listen More.
Don’t cut her off when she’s talking. If you consistently cut her off, even by saying “sorry to cut you off,” you’ll kill the vibe. She will stop extending on her answers. The conversation will flop.
Listening to her talk also inspires more questions to ask. It leads down more paths. Cutting her off will sour her and that’s not going to help you connect with her on a sexual level.
Complement – But Don’t Overdo It
There is nothing wrong with complementing her. In fact, it can be a nice, even sexy, thing. But if you overdo the complements, you’ll come off as a love bomber. And that may cause her to raise a red flag on you.
Love bombing is an act where someone attempts to control another person through unrealistic love professing. Complements are an essential part of the love bombing process.
Plus, if you complement too much, you’ll come off as disingenious. And complements, while nice in moderation and naturally placed, aren’t conversation extenders. Remember, you are looking for ways to keep a conversation going and avoid it falling flat. So look for ways to build a conversation.
Keep Working On It – Conversation is an Art
Just like any art or sport, conversation is a form which must be practiced. You can practice alone in front of the mirror. Practice conversations through visualization. And most importantly, take some of the above tips and practice while speaking with friends and strangers. That’s how you get better at being a productive conversationalist.