It’s why we are here. It’s the reason we browse Fuckbook. We desire, we seek, a casual sex encounter. Call it hookup dating or flatly casual sex, it’s all the same, marketing aside.
Let’s explore how we can help our casual sex relationships thrive.
Many people argue that sex is better done with someone you love. Eh, around these parts, we don’t share that sentiment. It does not mean that someday that won’t be the case, but today, we’ll take a slutty, no strings attached orgy over romance.
But it remains, casual sex is complicated because the physical nature of it can often blur boundaries which help keep casual sex, well, casual.
So let’s look at how to approach the casual sex hookup.
Minimize Sleep Overs
I will begin with the point that I believe to be the most difficult boundary to set. The sleepover can result in the death of your casual sex hookup. If you’re trying to keep things at the fling status, sleepovers can poison the effort.
This is because sleepovers begin to establish boyfriend/girlfriend routines.
Look, let’s be honest, this is a complicated, difficult boundary because of a couple of reasons.
For starters, morning sex is awesome. Nothing like getting that morning wood off. Second, well, if you like to party, it’s the safer option.
I’m not suggesting axing all sleepovers. But if you store a toothbrush, clothing, soap, and the oatmeal you like at her house, it’s no longer random one-nighters. You’ve partially moved in.
At some point, the sleepovers infringe upon the casual sex boundaries. You need to be aware of this. Because once you cross over, there is no going back. You’re in a relationship and suddenly, there are relationship expectations.
Maybe Keep Some Voyeuristic Convos Going…
If you are truly in a casual sex relationship, you shouldn’t care too much about your partner banging someone else. I know, we all have a little innate jealousy. Its natural. But we need to manage it. Sometimes, though it may feel counterintuitive, keeping open lines of communication about your fling’s casual sex encounters can help.
It can be erotic to talk to her about the last blowjob she gave. But more than that, it helps solidify that a boundary does indeed exist. You are not in a relationship.
And I know this can feel as though you’re driving the person away. But here’s the thing, if this girl really digs flings, she’s going to gravitate to the guys who genuinely aren’t stage 4 clingers. If you are OK talking about her other sexual conquests, you prove you are not such.
On the contrary, she’ll fight off and lose the guys who try to parade as casual sex enthusiasts but really just want to relationship-brand her.
After The First Hookup…
The first fling night is usually the easiest because the casual sex factor is built-in. But your actions the next morning can be critical in setting a casual sex tone.
If you find yourself laying there horny for that fling from the night before, don’t start telling them you “miss” them. Rather, be forward about your desire to enter into a casual sex dynamic.
“I had fun last night. Think we could keep some casual fun going?”
That’s a good way to say “I’m down for casual sex and boundaries work for me.”
The early days of a casual sex relationship are the most critical. So don’t screw them up.
Don’t Linger Around
Let’s say you have a fun drinking night. You end up at her place. The next morning, you wake up, she gives you a handjob, you go down on her, it’s all good in the hood.
But then, you hang out. Maybe you eat breakfast together. You are both tired from hangovers, so you lay down for a bit. You fuck again. Before you know it, intimacy sets in. You can’t stop it. You’re humans. It’s what we do.
Get up in the morning and leave following the morning sexy time fun. You don’t have to rudely run out the door. But as the heading reads, don’t linger. Don’t make the morning “a thing.”
Don’t Go Awkward
You can both date other people. You can both fuck other people. It is that simple. If you text her and she says she has plans, don’t interrogate her as to whether she’s hanging with friends, or meeting a dude. If she says she had a fun night, don’t ask if she hooked up. Unless, as mentioned earlier, you’ve established that it makes both of you horny to discuss.
The moment you get awkward, the moment the girl rethinks her position with you. She may see you as a relationship clinger risk.
You Don’t Need To Know EVERYTHING About Them
Look, I’m not saying it is off-limits to talk about hobbies, family, and other items. But don’t dive so deep that it seems like you’re vetting her for marriage material.
Who cares if she likes hikes? Do you plan on hiking up a cavernous mountain with her or having sex?
If you start interviewing her, it might feel a little date’ish.
Now, look, you need to be able to have some conversations so naturally, these things come up. But keep it light. If she gives shallow responses, this is another sign you’re going too deep into her life.
If you want casual sex, keep the whole thing casual. That’s the key. Heck, it’s in the name!!!