The movie Wedding Crashers famously coined the phrase, “stage 5 clinger.” The term, derogatory at its root, refers to a girl who can’t date loosely. She wants all of you, all the time. In dating, of course, a guy can certainly become a stage 5 clinger.
In any case, dating a stage 5 clinger can lead to rough waters. Adult dating sites tend to trim down the number of clingers you date because a big reason for clinging is sex. And adult dating sites are geared towards girls who enjoy a good sexy time and don’t want a relationship.
But alas, sometimes, the clingers get through. And you find yourself trying to figure out what to do when you end up dating a clinger.
Why Would You Deal With Clingers On Adult Dating Sites?
As one of the top adult dating sites, I can tell you that the number one reason folks deal with clingers is that the sex is explosively good. On Fuckbook, this is the primary reason cited for continuing to date a clinger.
Clingers slip through our system sometimes. It happens. The thing to understand is that most clingers don’t know they are clingers. Until they have sex with you. Then a light switch flicks. And suddenly, they want your every and all.
On a hookup site, the sex comes fast and furious. Most people who sign up can handle it. But sometimes, that’s not the case.
Many guys become clingers. Some guys, let’s be honest, never had such ripe opportunities as loose, sexy girls. They score an amazing sex session and suddenly think, ‘why not just stay with her?’
Girls are the same. They may even have sex with a few scrubs along the way. Then comes you. And it all changes.
Sex is a game that can toy with the emotions of even the most stoic of personalities.
Adult dating sites usher in a sexual experience in short order, so if problems exacerbated by sex are going to exist, they’ll rear their ugly heads much faster than usual.
Stage 5 clingers will happen.
So what do you do when a clinger gets their fangs into you?
Understand Stage 5 Clingers Are Insecure
The root of the problem with clingers is that they are insecure. They need someone else’s attention to exist, or at least that’s how they feel.
So they’ll do just about anything to keep the attention flowing from you. At first, that’s great.
The clinger shows up at lunch unexpectedly and bangs you while you are working. But she’s really just making sure there are no other girls at your place.
She cooks for you.
She sext you erotic nudes all day.
Life seems good. Until of course, you meet a new hookup on Fuckbook. And then suddenly, things get weird.
You realize you can’t use your place for sex because the stage 5 clinger might drop in.
The clinger’s insecurities get the worst of them. It tortures them into needing you more and more – only you.
Their entire day is measured by how much attention you give them. The problem is, if you aren’t giving them good attention, they’ll opt for negative attention. Any attention is better than no attention to fill their insecurity cup.
Clingers Give Amazing Blowjobs
Ah, the working quandary. The stage 5 clinger gives an epic blowjob. Not only that, but she will often not be stingy with the blowjob. She’ll suck your dick while you’re driving or drop to her knees at the dinner table.
The early days of dating a clinger are “loads of fun,” to say the least.
Clingers rely on blowjobs to hook their prey. They know that guys often don’t get enough blowjobs and often struggle talking their lame girlfriends into giving them blowjobs.
But an amazing thing happens during the process. At some point, the clinger will use blowjobs as a negotiating tool. Don’t do as they wish, no blowjobs. They know you’re craving and needing. They realize that other girls you meet may not blow you at the same pace. They are locking in their position as your only option.
Over time, the blowjob frequency may drop. As you get more and more sucked into the clinger’s world, they can work for it less.
Even though finding a blowjob on Fuckbook isn’t a difficult task, the more you become immersed in the clinger’s world, the less rational you become.
Stage 5 Clingers Are Everywhere You Are
Isn’t it weird how at first, when you were hooking up with her, she just happened to be in your area all the time?
Sure, it was nice. Random, unexpected sex is great. She was just ‘passing through’ and thought ‘wouldn’t it be fun…’ and before you knew it, you were banging her on your kitchen table.
She happened to be at Target the same time you were, so you decided to invite her over. It made sense at the time!
Stage 5 clingers stalk, trail, monitor, etc. They always know where you are. They leverage social media, things you say, your known schedule, to make it always seem as though they ‘happened to be in the area.’
Text and Sext Will Flood Your Inbox
Stage 5 clingers rely on texting as a way to consistently monitor your ongoings. They’ll text you to death. Your iPhone’s battery life will take a huge hit. You’ll wonder why your battery is dead every day at 3 PM. You’ll end up buying a new charger just to keep in more places around your home or work.
Don’t answer? They’ll pick a fight.
Try to avoid? She’ll send you a nude.
It won’t stop.
If she thinks you are with another Fuckbook hookup, she’ll blow your phone up hoping the girl will see it.
It’s a methodical process, even when it seems unhinged.
All The Fallout Will Be Your Fault
Clingers spark frequent arguments. Dating a clinger is a real pressure cooker. You’ll blow your top at times. She knows this. She thrives in emotionally unhinged relationships because she’d rather have negative attention over no attention at all.
But she’ll blame you for all the arguments. In other words, she’ll gaslight you into oblivion.
Over time, you might start to believe you are the root cause of all the arguments.
It will turn into a cycle of arguments that lead to you apologizing that lead to her banging your brains out – rinse, wash, repeat.
Its an unhealthy cycle.
Breaking Up With Stage 5 Clingers Is Rough Waters (But Necessary)
If you want to live a normal and fun life, the stage 5 clinger eventually needs to go. But that’s easier said than done once you are locked in.
They are sure to cause you all types of issues. They may stalk you. They could attempt to interrupt your new hookup sessions.
So how do you break up with a stage 5 clinger?
For one, end it short and sweet. Don’t just stop communication altogether. Send a short and simple note. Don’t talk to them, they’ll gaslight you to death.
Instead, email or text something simple.
I’m moving on. We are not right for one another. Good luck with everything.
After this, never respond again.
She’ll blow up at first, looking to lead you into a response. She will do this by blaming you for everything, hoping to get a rise out of you.
Next, she’ll probably offer you blowjobs. Don’t be surprised if you get sext messages that have her swallowing cucumbers.
She’s text you when she knows your drinking, hoping to play into your inebriated state.
When things get really desperate, she will start talking about a ‘new guy.’ Also, she may dangle things you left at her place. In all likelihood, she took it on purpose knowing she’d need to apply the leverage some day.
Never take any of the bait.
Instead:
- Realize you can get sex on Fuckbook, she’s not the end-all provider.
- Block her completely from social media.
- If she friended other friends of yours, call them and ask them to block her.
- Beware of her starting fake social media accounts to follow you.
- Never communicate with her again.
Stage 5 clingers are rare on Fuckbook due to its core concept of sex with no strings attached. Most girls on Fuckbook love this concept because they don’t want you clinging either. They might be married, or just trying to enjoy their sexuality for a run.
But things happen. And when a hookup turns sour, early diagnosis is important.